Nate challenged us to write 7 things people might not know about us on our own blog. Since I'm such an 'open' person, I will have trouble finding 7 secrets...here goes.
1) I've always secretly wanted to be a hair stylists. You'd never guess it by looking at my hair, since it is a wild mop that rarely gets cut.
2) I hate working in the yard or garden. I have a real aversion to getting my hands dirty.
3) I would love to take a small engine repair class
4) I hate to write...which is why my blogging is confined to a once a week entry. It's also funny since I was, at one time, a writing trainer for our county. I have the thoughts in my head, but I can never get the words to express them correctly. I get so busy trying to say the words, that I forget what the message was....
5) I used to ski ... my travels have taken me to many different ski slopes in several different countries. I've been pulled off mountains and glaciers by stretcher (and one time by a giant 'snow cat') more times than I can recount. I loved skiing. I just never quite mastered it.
6) I'm a terrible housekeeper. I love having a clean house, but don't ever seem to get around to cleaning it until we're in a 'crisis' mode.
7) I'm a trekky! I've seen every episode of the original Star Trek and The Next Generation numerous times. I never much cared for the other spin-offs, so was not very consistant about watching them. The wildest thing has been to watch the technology from those shows become a part of our lives.
8) Ok, I'm on a roll, one more. I too, went to Nyack College, but never played sports. I was there for the excellent social experiences and a degree that would take me through life. (By the way, the degree has offered most excellent opportunities, and I loved the school!)
Saturday, March 15, 2008
New Beginnings...
Yesterday, March 14, I sat with my fathers dwindling family as we gathered for the 2nd time in 4 months to honor the life and grieve the death of one of his brothers. The family of 8 siblings is now down to 5, and the gray hairs and stooped postures give evidence to the relentless march of age. Yet this funeral was so different from some of the others. Rather than a ceremony marking the end of something, it was a celebration marking the beginning of his eternal life with his Father, God.
My uncle Royce was a man with passion. He was passionate about his country. He served in the armed forces, and to listen to him you would understand that he single-handedly defeated the Germans. He then served in the Civil Air Patrol for over 50 years. 50 years! That's a huge committment. As they presented him with 3 awards, posthumously, I couldn't help but think how I wished he had gotten these while he lived. It would have meant so much to him, and he would have been so thrilled with the recognition.
Uncle Royce was also passionate about God. He served as a bi vocational pastor for 50 years while working for the state of North Carolina. He led a number of congretations, but his life spoke of his faith and his love for God. As I sat there listening to a chaplain expound on his life, it was hard to be sad that he was gone. Alzeheimers had robbed him of everything he had known on this earth, and his body was ravaged by aging process. His life isn't over...it's just begun! This time, it's not a practice, it's for eternity.
The chaplain did not know Uncle Royce, but he did a great job of sharing my uncle's passion. He blatently laid out the gospel for all those that were there, and emphasized that we don't live this life for ourselves, it's not about us, it's about sharing the love of Christ with others. I'm sure there were those there that did not appreciate the message, but I wanted to raise my fist and say, "YES".
My uncle's life was not easy. There has been pain, loss, grief, disappointment, and problems. But, there was also friendship, family, laughs, and memorable experiences. But through everything, he never lost his faith. He never lost his hope in God. He continued to love God and people, and share Jesus with those he met. I hope that when I am gone, and my friends and family gather at my funeral, the people there will realize that it's not the end...it's only the beginning and they raise their fists and say, "YES!"
My uncle Royce was a man with passion. He was passionate about his country. He served in the armed forces, and to listen to him you would understand that he single-handedly defeated the Germans. He then served in the Civil Air Patrol for over 50 years. 50 years! That's a huge committment. As they presented him with 3 awards, posthumously, I couldn't help but think how I wished he had gotten these while he lived. It would have meant so much to him, and he would have been so thrilled with the recognition.
Uncle Royce was also passionate about God. He served as a bi vocational pastor for 50 years while working for the state of North Carolina. He led a number of congretations, but his life spoke of his faith and his love for God. As I sat there listening to a chaplain expound on his life, it was hard to be sad that he was gone. Alzeheimers had robbed him of everything he had known on this earth, and his body was ravaged by aging process. His life isn't over...it's just begun! This time, it's not a practice, it's for eternity.
The chaplain did not know Uncle Royce, but he did a great job of sharing my uncle's passion. He blatently laid out the gospel for all those that were there, and emphasized that we don't live this life for ourselves, it's not about us, it's about sharing the love of Christ with others. I'm sure there were those there that did not appreciate the message, but I wanted to raise my fist and say, "YES".
My uncle's life was not easy. There has been pain, loss, grief, disappointment, and problems. But, there was also friendship, family, laughs, and memorable experiences. But through everything, he never lost his faith. He never lost his hope in God. He continued to love God and people, and share Jesus with those he met. I hope that when I am gone, and my friends and family gather at my funeral, the people there will realize that it's not the end...it's only the beginning and they raise their fists and say, "YES!"
Saturday, March 8, 2008
As For Me and My House....
CRASH!!!BOOM!!! The house shook. The dogs came scrambling and so did Jeremiah. It was an abrupt way to beging the day, and the storm raging outside was a foreshadowing of our morning inside. The kids got in a fight, and I had to send them to their separate corners. Tears flowed and ugly words gushed out of their mouths....crash...boom....severe storm warnings scrolled across the bottom of the TV screen and across their faces.
In trying to lead them through this most recent bout of friction, I made the comment that adults don't solve their problems by bashing each other, verbally and physically, and using their bullying techniques to force their will on other people. Trystan looked at me and said, "but I'm not an adult". My reply to him was, "You don't turn into one overnight when you reach 18, it's a process that you practice until you have it well enough to do it on your own."
As he stormed away, I thought about all the adults that DO handle those kinds of situations with ugliness and bullying. I guess I live in a rose-colored world because my work environment is one of cooperation and problem solving. My coworkers bend over backwards to make sure things are said in nonhurtful ways. This is a blessing. I wish it were one my kids could learn!
So now, I'm back to my Saturday morning quiet time (since everyone else is in their respective places of solitude) pondering on the verse "as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." My question is this...how can we enforce that decision? After 25 years in education, I have reached the conclusion that we can't MAKE anyone do anything. We can make the consequences of not following the rules uncomfortable, and make the rewards of complicance pleasing, but ultimately, each person makes their own choices that determine actions. How can any of us speak for 'our house' and their decisions?
I realize that we don't just wake up, and.. bam....we're mature enough to make all the right decisions in following God's will. I know that it's a growth process. When I look back on my growth, I've tried to point to a specific turning point of "there it is, that's when my faith became more than words. It was then that my relationship with Christ began to flavor my decisions and thought processes." But, I can't come pinpoint many exact times. Looking back, it was a series of mini-choices and God appointments with others that led me forward, sometimes, and backwards at times. I guess you could say I am the sum total of my experiences. So, perhaps the decision that 'me and my house willserve the Lord' isn't a one time thing, but a series of mini committments, sequentially causing us to move forward in our maturity.
My committment has also been a greatly influenced by a weekly dredging in God's word, through the preaching and leadership at Nags Head Church. Most Sunday's I walk away with the thought that the semon was special tailored for my growth needs and my weaknesses. Which reinforces the thought that my kids (my house) need to be dedicated to regular attendance, ministry, praise, personal devotions, and fellowship. We all need to be involved in missions, whether here or elsewhere. We need to continue to practice the 'it's not about me' mantra. It won't suddenly happen, but perhaps, through the mini course adjustments and LOTS of practice we can move closer to understanding what it means to declare that 'my house will serve the Lord.'
For now, the storm, outside, has passed and the sun is shining. The yard is flooded, because when you are deluged with rain, there is usually residual effects. In our case, we sometimes have to pick our way carefully through the high patches so we don't get wet on the way to the car. The forecast is for more storms...I'm sure there will be more storms inside as well. God, help me to be wise and discerning, and help me to help my children come to the decision that they too, will serve You.
In trying to lead them through this most recent bout of friction, I made the comment that adults don't solve their problems by bashing each other, verbally and physically, and using their bullying techniques to force their will on other people. Trystan looked at me and said, "but I'm not an adult". My reply to him was, "You don't turn into one overnight when you reach 18, it's a process that you practice until you have it well enough to do it on your own."
As he stormed away, I thought about all the adults that DO handle those kinds of situations with ugliness and bullying. I guess I live in a rose-colored world because my work environment is one of cooperation and problem solving. My coworkers bend over backwards to make sure things are said in nonhurtful ways. This is a blessing. I wish it were one my kids could learn!
So now, I'm back to my Saturday morning quiet time (since everyone else is in their respective places of solitude) pondering on the verse "as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." My question is this...how can we enforce that decision? After 25 years in education, I have reached the conclusion that we can't MAKE anyone do anything. We can make the consequences of not following the rules uncomfortable, and make the rewards of complicance pleasing, but ultimately, each person makes their own choices that determine actions. How can any of us speak for 'our house' and their decisions?
I realize that we don't just wake up, and.. bam....we're mature enough to make all the right decisions in following God's will. I know that it's a growth process. When I look back on my growth, I've tried to point to a specific turning point of "there it is, that's when my faith became more than words. It was then that my relationship with Christ began to flavor my decisions and thought processes." But, I can't come pinpoint many exact times. Looking back, it was a series of mini-choices and God appointments with others that led me forward, sometimes, and backwards at times. I guess you could say I am the sum total of my experiences. So, perhaps the decision that 'me and my house willserve the Lord' isn't a one time thing, but a series of mini committments, sequentially causing us to move forward in our maturity.
My committment has also been a greatly influenced by a weekly dredging in God's word, through the preaching and leadership at Nags Head Church. Most Sunday's I walk away with the thought that the semon was special tailored for my growth needs and my weaknesses. Which reinforces the thought that my kids (my house) need to be dedicated to regular attendance, ministry, praise, personal devotions, and fellowship. We all need to be involved in missions, whether here or elsewhere. We need to continue to practice the 'it's not about me' mantra. It won't suddenly happen, but perhaps, through the mini course adjustments and LOTS of practice we can move closer to understanding what it means to declare that 'my house will serve the Lord.'
For now, the storm, outside, has passed and the sun is shining. The yard is flooded, because when you are deluged with rain, there is usually residual effects. In our case, we sometimes have to pick our way carefully through the high patches so we don't get wet on the way to the car. The forecast is for more storms...I'm sure there will be more storms inside as well. God, help me to be wise and discerning, and help me to help my children come to the decision that they too, will serve You.
Monday, March 3, 2008
S0, today I spent 3 hours in the hospital emergency room with Jeremiah. His cold has settled into his chest, and the dr. office erred on the side of caution and wanted a chest xray. So, 3 hours, and xray, a throat swab and a nose swab later, they declared that he had a cold....
Thankyou God that it isn't anything more. Here are lessons from the ER:
1)I don't know how Nate does it. I was bored out of my mind sitting there waiting for different lab results. After 3 hours of being in that same room, looking at the same poster on the wall and the same swabs in the jar, I was ready to go crazy. But, as I started thinking, "God please make them hurry up"...my mind went to Tricia,,,,who is in a continual holding pattern. Day after day. Soon my prayers went from "make them hurry up" to "please God, send Tricia her lungs..."
2) Sponge Bob is one of the stupidest shows ever created...followed by a close second with Declassified, and the Suite life of Zack and Cody.
Thats it...short lesson...long day.
Thankyou God that it isn't anything more. Here are lessons from the ER:
1)I don't know how Nate does it. I was bored out of my mind sitting there waiting for different lab results. After 3 hours of being in that same room, looking at the same poster on the wall and the same swabs in the jar, I was ready to go crazy. But, as I started thinking, "God please make them hurry up"...my mind went to Tricia,,,,who is in a continual holding pattern. Day after day. Soon my prayers went from "make them hurry up" to "please God, send Tricia her lungs..."
2) Sponge Bob is one of the stupidest shows ever created...followed by a close second with Declassified, and the Suite life of Zack and Cody.
Thats it...short lesson...long day.
Friday, February 29, 2008
50Years
50 years ago, tonight, my mom and my dad were both anxiously awaiting the morning. They were to be married, and to stand before God, their family, and some friends and vow their undying devotion to each other. They were going to promise to love, honor, and protect each other for as long as they both should live. That's a daunting promise, but one they've stood beside.
It hasn't always been easy. In fact, I'm not sure it ever was. In their early marriage, my dad commuted from here to Norfolk daily. Mom gave up a career as a nurse in order to be a stay at home mom. Later, my dad's career in the Coast Guard took him away from the home he knew to far away places. Mom adapted to the new, and made a home for us wherever we were. There were times in our lives that he would be 'out to sea' for long periods of time. I remember communicating with him, occasionally, on ship to shore phones. I'm not sure how they worked, but I remember having to say "over" whenever I finished a thought.
As we grew up, if college was the way we wanted to go, they did whatever they could to help us achieve that goal. It meant selling off some land and cosigning loans and driving to NY and doing without one of their 2 cars for a year, but they did it because that's what family does. If a vocation was the way we chose, they were supportive of that as well.
Through 2 careers, one in the Coast Guard and one as a horticulturist, Dad was had a work ethic that is not so easy to find. He worked hard to provide for his family and even after 'retirement' he continues, at 70 to work.
Mom, is one of those incredibly strong women that has overcome unbelievable odds. Age has wreaked havoc on her physically and she's had surgery on her hands, feet, back, neck and heart. Several times, she has been on death's door, but not only did she survive, she has continued to live a productive life despite physical handicaps and a heart that doesn't do what it's designed to do.
So, 50 years ago, they promised to love each other "in sickness and in health". It's a promise they kept, and today they stand as a testimony to God's grace and his strength to stay the course and go the distance.
Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad.
It hasn't always been easy. In fact, I'm not sure it ever was. In their early marriage, my dad commuted from here to Norfolk daily. Mom gave up a career as a nurse in order to be a stay at home mom. Later, my dad's career in the Coast Guard took him away from the home he knew to far away places. Mom adapted to the new, and made a home for us wherever we were. There were times in our lives that he would be 'out to sea' for long periods of time. I remember communicating with him, occasionally, on ship to shore phones. I'm not sure how they worked, but I remember having to say "over" whenever I finished a thought.
As we grew up, if college was the way we wanted to go, they did whatever they could to help us achieve that goal. It meant selling off some land and cosigning loans and driving to NY and doing without one of their 2 cars for a year, but they did it because that's what family does. If a vocation was the way we chose, they were supportive of that as well.
Through 2 careers, one in the Coast Guard and one as a horticulturist, Dad was had a work ethic that is not so easy to find. He worked hard to provide for his family and even after 'retirement' he continues, at 70 to work.
Mom, is one of those incredibly strong women that has overcome unbelievable odds. Age has wreaked havoc on her physically and she's had surgery on her hands, feet, back, neck and heart. Several times, she has been on death's door, but not only did she survive, she has continued to live a productive life despite physical handicaps and a heart that doesn't do what it's designed to do.
So, 50 years ago, they promised to love each other "in sickness and in health". It's a promise they kept, and today they stand as a testimony to God's grace and his strength to stay the course and go the distance.
Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad.
Monday, February 25, 2008
I Understand....(not)
It saddened me today when I read Nathan's blog about the hurtful and downright mean things people were 'saying' to him as he put voice to this incredible journey that he and his family have embarked upon. As a person who has worked with kids most of my adult life, I have noticed and many times commented that "kids are mean", because they haven't learned the social inhibitions that keep us from saying hurtful things. They hold out their friendship to someone, then withdraw it if the 'friend' does or does not do something thing that disagrees or agrees with them and feeds their selfishness and ego. Supposedly, with positive guidance and teacher/parent/adult training (not necessarily in that order) we can steer them to the understanding that words DO hurt, sometimes more than sticks and stones. This process takes time, and we, as teachers, often don't see the end results, but we work toward that goal in any case.
Evidently, this isn't a new problem, because there are many places in the Bible where God addesses the way we speak to each other..."let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth...only that which is good for building up of the saints" (BV)* "let no backbiting, slander or gossip..." " the tongue is like a tiny rudder that steers the whole ship"...I could go on and on, but my time is short.
Often, even though we have physical age on us, our emotional age is still that of a young child. We end up being selfish, and taking an "I can't help it...I've got to say what's inside" attitude. Thank God for spiritual leaders that help give us that positive guidance and training to help us 'learn' how powerful our words are.
Today, my prayer is "may the words of mouth, and the thoughts of my heart, bless YOUR name, bless your name, Jesus....may the deeds of the day, and the truth of my way, speak of YOU, speak of you, Jesus."
(*BV=Bonnie's version..paraphrased)
Evidently, this isn't a new problem, because there are many places in the Bible where God addesses the way we speak to each other..."let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth...only that which is good for building up of the saints" (BV)* "let no backbiting, slander or gossip..." " the tongue is like a tiny rudder that steers the whole ship"...I could go on and on, but my time is short.
Often, even though we have physical age on us, our emotional age is still that of a young child. We end up being selfish, and taking an "I can't help it...I've got to say what's inside" attitude. Thank God for spiritual leaders that help give us that positive guidance and training to help us 'learn' how powerful our words are.
Today, my prayer is "may the words of mouth, and the thoughts of my heart, bless YOUR name, bless your name, Jesus....may the deeds of the day, and the truth of my way, speak of YOU, speak of you, Jesus."
(*BV=Bonnie's version..paraphrased)
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Scary stuff
This morning, I woke up and instead of getting up, like I usually do, I decided to lay in bed and see if I could go back to sleep. I had had a rough night with a lot of 'awakenings' and I didn't feel really good, so I decided the sleep would do me good. Mistake....
I had the worst dream. As always, when I go to give words to my dream, I don't have the vocabulary to truely describe the feelings, textures and nuiances of the dream. But, the gist was this: Alex decided to turn his back on me and my authority. I went to pick him up from school (although it wasn't a school I had ever been in) and when I called him to come with me, he totally ignored me. No amount of calling, cajoling, screaming or threatening could get him to come with me. He was declaring his independence in loud silence. I found that he had been doing things that I had expressly forbidden (pimping his bike...which is funny in that he doesn't even have a bike) and riding gas powered skateboards. He refused to even acknowledge my presence. Finally, in desperation, I told him I would cancel his cell phone. He turned to me and said, "go ahead, you can't MAKE me do anything" and tossed it into the bushes. At that point I relized that he had discovered my secret. He was right. I can't force anyone to do anything. I can make it lucrative to obey, or miserable to disobey, but ultimately, personal choice will prevail.
There was more to the dream, including me sneaking into a high security room and hiding something under the PE equipment, and airplanes, but as dreams go, that part was very disjointed. I just remember feeling a small triumph that I had put something of his in a place he couldn't access it. Hollow victory.
I drug myself out of my sleep, and my first waking thought was "it was a dream, it was just a dream", but curiously, I found myself really sad as I got up to begin my day. I realized that, just as in my dream, there is a very real possibility that my boys will turn against the very fabric of my beliefs and philosophies. There may come a day when they chose to say to me, "you can't MAKE me do anything". Now, my conscious mind says, "that's personal choice, and my joy is not dependent on their actions or attitudes" but deep down, I know I will be shaken to the core if and when that happens.
Perhaps this was a spin off on last night's post, but it was a shocking jolt into reality. It made me feel a more pressing need to pray protection around them, build relationship with them, and indoctrinate them into the word of God, so that even if they chose to turn their backs, they won't forget. Perhaps this is Satan's way of trying to steal my joy. We learned in church last week that
Satan always attacks through our weakest point, and that is often through our children. We also learned that we have to surrender them to God, as we do ourself.
So, Lord, they're yours. Bring them up in your knowledge. Let me be a wise steward of the time you've given us together. Protect them, and let them see, with clarity, Satan's tricks. Pursue them relentlessly, and bring them home.
I had the worst dream. As always, when I go to give words to my dream, I don't have the vocabulary to truely describe the feelings, textures and nuiances of the dream. But, the gist was this: Alex decided to turn his back on me and my authority. I went to pick him up from school (although it wasn't a school I had ever been in) and when I called him to come with me, he totally ignored me. No amount of calling, cajoling, screaming or threatening could get him to come with me. He was declaring his independence in loud silence. I found that he had been doing things that I had expressly forbidden (pimping his bike...which is funny in that he doesn't even have a bike) and riding gas powered skateboards. He refused to even acknowledge my presence. Finally, in desperation, I told him I would cancel his cell phone. He turned to me and said, "go ahead, you can't MAKE me do anything" and tossed it into the bushes. At that point I relized that he had discovered my secret. He was right. I can't force anyone to do anything. I can make it lucrative to obey, or miserable to disobey, but ultimately, personal choice will prevail.
There was more to the dream, including me sneaking into a high security room and hiding something under the PE equipment, and airplanes, but as dreams go, that part was very disjointed. I just remember feeling a small triumph that I had put something of his in a place he couldn't access it. Hollow victory.
I drug myself out of my sleep, and my first waking thought was "it was a dream, it was just a dream", but curiously, I found myself really sad as I got up to begin my day. I realized that, just as in my dream, there is a very real possibility that my boys will turn against the very fabric of my beliefs and philosophies. There may come a day when they chose to say to me, "you can't MAKE me do anything". Now, my conscious mind says, "that's personal choice, and my joy is not dependent on their actions or attitudes" but deep down, I know I will be shaken to the core if and when that happens.
Perhaps this was a spin off on last night's post, but it was a shocking jolt into reality. It made me feel a more pressing need to pray protection around them, build relationship with them, and indoctrinate them into the word of God, so that even if they chose to turn their backs, they won't forget. Perhaps this is Satan's way of trying to steal my joy. We learned in church last week that
Satan always attacks through our weakest point, and that is often through our children. We also learned that we have to surrender them to God, as we do ourself.
So, Lord, they're yours. Bring them up in your knowledge. Let me be a wise steward of the time you've given us together. Protect them, and let them see, with clarity, Satan's tricks. Pursue them relentlessly, and bring them home.
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